Carpathian Forest - Fuck You All!!!! (Caput Tuum in Ano Est)

262 days till W:O:A 2023.

(Still counting. Still unwell.)

Carpathian Forest—a name even I've stumbled across more than once in my black metal research rabbit holes.

Formed in 1992 by Nattefrost and Nordavind, they’re part of black metal’s notorious second wave and have somehow been haunting the scene for over 30 years now.

That said, it’s been suspiciously quiet around them in the last decade.

Their last studio album dropped in 2006, and while they teased a new one (Likeim EP, 2018) and promised a winter release the same year—spoiler alert—nothing materialised.

In true black metal fashion, they've been showing up at festivals and small gigs instead, existing mostly on vibes and bad decisions.

Since 2017, the line-up has been:

• Nattefrost (vocals)
• Vrangsinn (bass)
• Audun (drums)
• Malphas and Erik Gamle (guitars)

For this dive, I grabbed their latest studio album with the extremely subtle title:

Fuck You All!!!! (Caput tuum in ano est)—Latin for "your head is in your arse," because of course it is.

In 2006, Carpathian Forest’s line-up featured: Nattefrost (vocals), Tchort and Blood Pervertor (guitars), Vrangsinn (bass) and Anders Kobro (drums).

(Tchort — yes, the possibly-mythical bass player from Emperor’s In the Nightside Eclipse — traded invisibility for guitar duties here. Busy man.)

So. Fuck You All!!!!

What can I say? I had absolutely no trouble getting into this album.

It’s 46 minutes of filthy, blackened Rock’n’Roll chaos—and honestly, it's a blast.

For a black metal record, the production is shockingly good:

you can hear the individual instruments clearly (yes, even bass!).

Vrangsinn’s bass rumbles audibly throughout, the guitar work is repetitive in a good, groove-locking way, and the drumming is frantic but addictive.

Nattefrost’s vocals are a snarl-fest, dripping pure evil—with delightful curveballs: punkish shouts, Rock’n’Roll grunts, and moments where it feels like he’s one breakdown away from just barking at the microphone.

What I love most: it’s not pure black metal.

You get Rock’n’Roll swagger, hardcore punk chaos, doom-laden synth sections, and even some proper thrashy punch-ups.

It's messy. It's brilliant.

Everyday I Must Suffer! leans hard into the Rock’n’Roll side of things — loose, dirty, and instantly memorable.

Start Up the Incinerator – Here Comes Another Useless Fool (deep breath) starts off in pure chaos mode: frantic riffing, panicked drumming—but stick it out, and around 1:20 it finds a sick groove and hits its stride.

Vi Åpner Porten Til Helvete... [We Open The Gate To Hell...]

—the six-minute Norwegian behemoth—opens the album.

Distorted vocals, grinding repetitive riffs, a doomy synth-driven middle section where Nattefrost positively loses his mind on vocals.

Honestly? A fever dream in the best way.

The Frostbitten Woodlands of Norway deserves a shoutout just for the title alone.

It checks every single box for Norwegian black metal: woods, cold, desperation, existential rot.

Musically, it opens with eerie synths, sets a frozen mood, then picks up speed into something less melodic but still sharp. This one’s less chaos, more "soundtrack to your third existential crisis of the month."

Diabolism – The Seed and the Sower veers into full thrash territory around 3:22, closing the album on a frantic, riff-heavy high.

My first encounter with Carpathian Forest?

A bloody good time.

Fuck You All!!!! is loud, ugly, groovy, and honestly way more fun than I expected.

Several tracks have made it into my playlists already—ready to be unleashed in between more respectable neighbours.

As for that long-rumoured new album?

Let’s just say: I’ll believe it when I’m standing ankle-deep in corpsepaint at a live show.

Until then, maybe it’s smarter to stick with the old disasters.

We’ll see.